It’s the first Wednesday of the month and that means it is:
Insecure Writer’s Support Group Day
I am SO excited to be co-hosting this month along with Nancy Gideon, Bob R Milne, Chrys Fey, Bish Denham, and Pat Garcia!
Post your thoughts on your own blog. Write about your writing doubts and the fears you have or have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group as well as the other co-hosts and connect with your fellow writer – aim for a dozen new people each time.
Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers at all stages of writing.
To join us, sign up here:
http://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/p/iwsg-sign-up.html
Visit our Facebook Page here:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/IWSG13
Twitter: #IWSG
Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!
Wednesday is also Writing Wednesday
Writing Wednesday is the day I like to share what I have learned on my journey from writing to publishing to marketing my first book and then doing it again. The type of information I wish someone would have shared with me, back then.
Politically Correct or Not
My summer was so laid back. I was relaxing and enjoying the slow pace and occasionally working on my third book, anxiously awaiting the final proofs and the release date for my second book.
And then it happened. Somebody posted something that I knew was not true and going against that little voice screaming from deep down inside of me, I went about trying to prove that person wrong. It got ugly fast and I wasn’t the only one that day whose comment and inboxes were flooded with the ugliest, hateful and most vial messages.
I was so hurt and angry with myself for falling into that trap and going against my own rules of not getting too awfully deep with politics or religion on my blog or on social media.
What happened to the art of debating? There were rules. You stick to the issue and the facts. You don’t get personal. We accepted defeat gracefully or we accepted to agree to disagree. Now it seems we are not happy until we have driven the last nail in the coffin of the person that dared to offend us just by having a different opinion than our own.
Last week I saw posts that wished evil things on our president and other posts that called half of the women in America f*&@ing idiots.
I’m not sure if I am more embarrassed or more frightened for our country. I am definitely worried about the example some women in prominent positions and older women are setting for younger women. They are watching, listening and paying attention.
How do you decide what is appropriate or not appropriate for your blog, social media or writing in general?
Happy writing,
Doreen
146 thoughts on “Politically Correct or Not…”
I am not sure I am always kind; but I am never cruel. It is hard not to post political or religious opinions on our blogs. A person is entitled to their opinions, and beliefs. We are now a world where those opposed have a greater right to their opinion. I don’t know, its hard not to offend someone by asking a simple question. No right decisions anymore.
I welcome opinions and views on my blog, but not personal attacks on commenters. A shame a casual comment can incite fear and hatred in some people; especially those who advocate acceptance of diversity. Its a quandry, knowing what to say at your personal space and what not to discuss. When you discover the appropriate combination, please let me in on the protocol.
I like this post; it says what needs to say.
Thanks for co-hosting IWSG today. Nice to meet you Doreen.
It is nice to meet you too!
Just because someone have an opinion doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good idea to voice it. All too often people say something without really thinking of the consequences and the social backlash can be devastating (and I’m thinking here of people who have committed suicide following these sorts of incidents), nobody knows how fragile the person on the other end of the wire really is until it’s too late.
So I tend to keep my opinions to myself (so far), I know how I feel about things, some idiot ranting on the other side of the world is not going to convince me of anything other than what an idiot they are.
You are right people do not think of the consequences these days at all.
Like you, I try not to get involved. Sadly, you called it – people get offended just because you disagree with them. Lord help you if you have your own opinion or belief and dare share that with the world. It is a dangerous message we are sending to the next generation.
Thanks for co-hosting today!
It is rough out there these days.
It’s a shame people can’t seem to disagree without also falling out – at least on social media. In real life I have friends who don’t share my views on everything, we manage to get along fine without screaming how wrong each other is, but I know that if I replied to a post saying I didn’t agree there would be a strong chance of the discussion escalating into unpleasantness.
And don’t say I’m wrong because I’ll reply in capitals and link to something not really comnnected to prove my point 😉
I think people that never had a voice have now found one and that is okay except for the ones who have no social skills. No screaming please:)
I avoid politics and religion (for the most part) on all of social media, for the reason you just cited. It gets ugly these days. The media has emotionally charged most issues to the point people can’t discuss them like sane individuals. My author persona (Maygrove is a pen name) is about connecting with people and selling books, not getting on my personal soap box… with the exception of grammar. 😛
Thanks for co-hosting. 🙂
IWSG #119 until Alex culls the list again.
The media is ridiculous these days. Nothing like it was when I was part of it.
I love the idea about having a blop hop for the sake of writing, writing doubts while banding together to lift one another up. Brilliant, Doreen.
On the other subject? It’s difficult to separate ourselves from our feelings about the news of the day and whether or not we should speak up. I think we always need to speak up for injustice, bullying or harm done onto others. But we have to decide which line we want to cross when doing it.
I abhor violence and bullying. I detest dishonesty. But for every person that is doing something harmful I see many more doing good. So glass half full, and all of that, Doreen. xo
It is a fabulous group of all sorts of writers Cathy, I highly recommend it!
Hi,
I am an ExPat American living outside of the United States in the European Community and must say that I am appalled at some the things that are happening in the U.S. It seems as if we have forgotten to respect the opinions of others. We no longer listen because we are so busy hammering out our point of view, and that is sad.
As for me, I don’t avoid such topics intentionally. There are certain beliefs that are inherent in me. I believe them but I don’t require others to believe them. When that happens, I hope that I would not argue with that person, but move on. I can’t change that person’s way of thinking but I can change my reacting to it.
All the best and I hope you are able to put it behind you soon.
Shalom,
Pat Garcia
It must look appalling from there. How embarrassing.
Doreen, remember that Rick Nelson song “Garden Pary”? You can’t please everyone… Someone will always take exception to what we write. Keep cool & keep writing. Be kind is very good advice.
Thanks for co-hosting this month.
Diane IWSG #95
I think I will post the song on my FB page. Thanks Diane!
I think 20 years ago, we were more naive. We hung with people who we liked and were like-minded and probably of similar socio-economic status.
The one thing the internet has done is opened our eyes to a whole world of people we might normally not come across and spend time with.
You are so right!
I have to say it is sad and stupid for negative words on someone’s blog or anywhere. I’m not sure where this came from but I quote it often, “If you can’t say something nice don’t say noththing at all”.
The best quote ever.
It is so hard to write about religion and politics. I think that people who otherwise might get along can be so divided on those issues.
That is what is so hard for me to understand. I would be so bored if I agreed with everyone all the time.
Mmm. That’s a touchy subject. I will state my feelings on a matter in many cases, however, I always leave room for people to respectfully disagree. (Then when they don’t RESPECTFULLY disagree, other people hop on them for being bigoted.)
It is ridiculously touchy.
I agree with many of the previous comments. My blog is a place to talk about books and writing. I think of it as my virtual living room where I attempt to be gracious to guests and expect them to be polite as well. I am all for civilised debate, but there is no reason for people to be rude or cruel.
Thanks for co-hosting this month. It is appreciated.
I used to love to debate. It is a nightmare anymore. Nobody knows the rules.
I share your concern about our inability to discuss and disagree in a civilized fashion. I lay blame at the feet of our media and politicians. We are an increasingly polarized society and it upsets me. I am so sorry this happened to you, you are one of the nicest women I know.
Thank you so much Carol and ditto for sure!
Sorry you had a bad experience. I keep to writing, books, and humor for the most part and comment on blogs of other easy-going people. When I do disagree, I make sure to be respectful and be clear that it’s just my opinion and that I’m fine with people having a different opinion. Thanks for cohosting!
I agree with always being respectful and kind.
I have one simple rule: avoid anything that doesn’t feel good. I’m not always successful, but I am old enough to know that you can never change someone’s mind. Only they can do that. Sorry for your pain, Doreen. You are a decent human being who cares. That’s a rough place to be. Thanks for caring. Thanks for co-hosting.
That sounds like a good plan.
I’m sorry you had to go through something like that. It’s so sad that nowadays people don’t respect other people’s opinions and beliefs. That they insist that they’re in the right and continue on until you agree with them. Everyone is entitled to feel and believe what they want. There’s nothing wrong in agreeing to disagree. Thanks for co-hosting.
It is really sad.
I’m also concerned for the United States, that we are so politically divided, and so much hate is being spread. I try to keep fairly neutral on some issues, but others, I feel too passionately about to not state my beliefs or support. When it comes to social injustice, I want to use any voice I have to support those who are suppressed. I send money to certain causes, and for me to stay silent when something is blowing up around us, to me does not make sense. As authors with a name that maybe has more at stake, I think it’s all in how we present our ideas. I’m going to present my beliefs tactfully, and not reduce to name calling.
I think it’s important not to whitewash our lives for the sake of book sales. I’ve followed authors on social media and even bought their books because they are outspoken about an issue I care about. I think speaking up matters.
When it gets ugly with name calling and unreasonable, nasty comments, it’s probably best to step back. That’s really hard, especially when comments can be so hurtful. Why are people so quick to hurt a stranger? Because there is no consequence? It’s sad.
And no matter who the President is, I think he or she should be respected. I thought that with the previous administration even though I never voted in favor of them. Criticize the issues, not their personal lives.
Thanks for a thought provoking post! Here is my August IWSG post. It’s the second post on my blog today because my Pitch Wars mentor bio needs to stay at the top. Thanks!
I buy plenty of books from authors who’s beliefs are different from mine. If I didn’t how would I ever learn anything?
I believe our country has always been divided, we just didn’t have the means to voice those opposing opinions in such a public forum. I do wish we still used the old adage to keep our political and religious conversations behind closed doors. I love discussing topics with people who have opposing views, but I try to only do it in person. Seems to stay more civil. Sorry for your experience.
Thanks for hosting this month.
You are so right we have always been this divided if not more. We just shout about it now!
Oh, I’m so sorry you had to deal with this. I was taught to always stand up for what I believe in, but that’s hard in today’s social media world. There’s no such thing as dialogue anymore. And things can get ugly super fast. Now I tend to look the other way since I think most of the time people are baiting others to get attention. If I’m at the pub and hear something, I may enter the fray. Usually the conversation is easier to handle when I’m having a beer. But online, no.
It is so hard to stand up for people these days and that is so sad.
As someone who had that happen on her Facebook page, I can say that there is so much misinformation out there and, although it drives many people to say things in an inappropriate way, opinions must be backed up by facts. When people spout their beliefs and quote sources that are blatantly biased, it only causes to incite those who disagree. These are crazy times we’re living in, and civility is quickly disappearing. Having Presidential candidates – who should be role models – like Donald Trump pretty much says it all.
The biased facts are a HUGE problem because ALL sides have their own set of biased facts and that makes it nearly impossible to sort through the spin and find the actual truth.
On my blog, I monitor all comments. I don’t get so many that is impossible and I refuse to allow any that aren’t respectful. The moment they attack the messenger, I delete/spam/trash. Freedom of speech comes with responsbility.
The responsibility really is lacking these days.
I stay away from inflammatory discussions and threads everywhere online. Those “debates” never go well and hiding behind a fake name on the internet emboldens those who spew vileness and hate. I don’t which side of whatever fence they are on, I leave them to their pastures and move on. Avoidance? Maybe, but I’d rather spend my time with a smile on my face.
thanks for co-hosting IWSG this month, Doreen.
People that don’t have opinions of their own seem to come out of nowhere with comments just to feel a part of something. It really is sad.
I’ve stuck my neck out a couple of times with similar results. I’m able to discuss things with people face-to-face, but I’ve decided the social media sites aren’t a good venue for me.
I need to stick to debating in real life.
I find that the divide has gone way beyond religion and politics. These days, if you don’t agree with someone, they will likely lash out and attempt to demean you. Very sad indeed. I think our political climate has much to do with it and the media that feeds the beast. It’s a bit like pouring kerosene onto a fire… we all get burned.
Absolutely the media and politicians purposely pouring the kerosene on the fire.
I’ve stopped writing anything political on my blog because of this very thing. As an author, I use my blog to (hopefully) build audience for my books, so I stick to topics that accomplish that. On social media, I either unfollow or unfriend people who post things that upset me. Even if I agree with someone politically, there are things I don’t want to see when I’m eating my breakfast! Protecting my mood is essential to stay focused on my writing.
I stick to voicing my opinion in person with family and friends, or supporting organizations that support my beliefs.
I don’t mind differing opinions I welcome them but if you are mean, ugh.
Congrats for co-hosting! As always, your blog is a godsend!
Thank you Tam.
I miss the days where we were not shielded by the false sense of power electronic communication gives us. I miss the days where we had more cues than what spills out on the screen — body language, eye contact, tone, all of that. We just don’t treat each other well when we remove our humanity from the conversation. I guess I miss the days most of all when our role models were closer to home and closer to our hearts — people we could realistically model our behavior after and look up to. I am so conflicted about how instant our world is. There is so much good and positive to have right now too. Why don’t we just focus on that??? I know, I am preaching to the choir Doreen :)!
I miss those days so much. I think I have decided to keep my opinions off of social media and in real life only. My blog may be used occasionally for opinion.
You can offend anyone with anything you say these days, so I just say screw it and let it fly. If people waste time out of their day to send me hate, pffft so be it. I’m not responding to such nitwits.
That is so true, dear Lord everyone has an opinion on everything.
I no longer argue with folks online. Sometimes it’s hard when they’re saying stuff so messed up, but it always ends up with some pretty venomous things thrown in my direction. It doesn’t help that my opinion goes against the grain on a lot of things. And I live in Texas so a lot of folk’s opinion goes completely against my own. 🙁
I get so sick of people getting offended by EVERYTHING. It’s like a constant walk on egg shells trying to navigate social media and just society in general and it shouldn’t be like that :/
It is so hard but I am refusing to engage with anyone creating drama.
Thank you for co-hosting today…
Being PC can be frustrating, but if you’re not you always run the risk of metting opposition to something. I try to keep an open mind, to an extent, and let people share logical opinions on my blog, but I have no problems deleteing something I just don’t like. It’s my blog.
As for social media, it is rare for me to voice an opinon and not becaue I’m afraid. It’s like you imply; I just don’t want to be caught up in the drama all the time. I have friends and family on FB who I, haven’t unfriended, but have unfollowed just so I won’t see their updates anymore.
I will always stand up for what I believe when it matters, but daily and weekly debates about the same old matters, over and over, are of no interest to me.
I am so tired of the drama and the election cycle is just beginning. Did it ever end?
I don’t write or blog about anything even vaguely controversial. Just not worth it to me. I’ll share my views with friends, but that’s about it.
Thanks for co-hosting this month’s IWSG.
I need to just stick with my in-real-life-friends when it comes to such charged topics.
I keep my blog to things related to writing. Either tips or news about my books and other great reads, but that is why I started my blog. As far as offending others, I try not to be rude or cruel. Thanks for co-hosting this month.
That is a good plan!
Great post, Doreen. I try to avoid hot topics in my posts and comments. It might be cowardly but it keeps me from getting upset over some idiots’ ugly remarks. Some people would lash out at the least provocation, even when you didn’t mean to say anything disparaging, just expressed your opinion. If they disagree with you, they get offensive. You can’t change their positions on issues, so why even engage in talking to them?
Because, let’s face it: hot topics are always personal, always about someone being unhappy with someone else, for whatever reason.
Some of these issues are just too personal.
If I feel any heat at all in a post I back off. Because people can hide behind an avatar, some take off the gloves. Life’s too short for that.
Hope you’re okay. 🙂
Anna from Elements of Writing
I am going to ignore it from now on social media and stick to in real life.
I personally hate debating. It’s something I’ve discussed with my husband before, because he does like to debate, and sometimes he doesn’t like to stop until he’s convinced you that he’s right. I’ve pointed this out, that he won’t convince me on a topic otherwise, and so I typically avoid it all together.
I’m not active on social media, except to post pictures. I don’t comment on a lot of topics because I see things differently from a majority of my family. If it relates to politics, religion, or all around morality, I just stay out of it. I leave those topics off of my blog as well, because someone will have an opinion that differs from mine, and will try to convince me that I’m wrong. That builds resentment in me, and I’d rather not ruin a working relationship with my own anger. Maybe I choose ignorance, but they say that ignorance is bliss.
I was on the debate team in school. Most people don’t like to debate me either but no one follows the rules today. They attack personally instead of sticking to the facts.
What a terrible experience. Facebook drives me crazy this way. I have family members on both sides of the liberal/conservative camp. I occasionally jump in, but it never feels right. Written words feel so permanent (one hurtful comment or misunderstood one can morph into something truly ugly–it’s happened to me in an email). Online in the public domain is worse. My preference should be to debate face to face or on the phone, but as a writer the temptation is to tweak the words just so to make my point. It’s a problem.
It sure is a problem for us writers.
I try not to get political on any social media or my blog for those same reasons–I don’t want to end up in an ugly fight with anybody! Yet at the same time, I do admire people who stand up for their beliefs.
It is a thin line for sure.
I really don’t like to debate, I don’t have that quick wit I think it takes. I’m always the person 2 hours later thinking to myself, oh, I should have said… Although, I did tweet something yesterday that surprised even me.
LOL hopefully nobody attacked you for it:)
I almost never touch potentially controversial or polarizing issues on my blog, though I had many posts of a political, religious, or social nature on my old Angelfire site. I decided, when I started my current blog in 2011, that I wouldn’t risk that again. I lost my entire site because some mentally unbalanced woman took extreme offense to something I’d posted, and she got her sycophantic followers all worked up against me. Thankfully, I was able to save a decent percentage of what I’d written during the almost 10 years I’d had that site. I figure it’s not worth it to risk alienating readers who hold differently than I do.
Oh my that sounds awful. I’m sorry that happened to you. I guess they had to make sure they got that last nail in.
Sorry that happened to you. I stay away from all things religious, personal, and political in my online life. I keep in mind its’ my public persona and its purpose is to sell me and my books.
But supposedly all publicity is good. Shrug. Soon they’ll all be onto the next hatefest and forget. So there’s that. Deep breaths and soldier on.
Yep. Definitely moving on.
I’m not a debater, but I certainly am not frightened by anyone who has an opinion different from my own. There are no two people anywhere in the world who think and feel the exact same way. Sometimes I think the people who yell the loudest and use the worst language are the most insecure. I feel sorry for them. I don’t use my blog for debates, but I will occasionally express my thoughts about certain subjects, particularly my deep dislike for plastic and the poisons used for growing our food that’s also killing the bees.
Life would be so boring if we all thought the same way. It would also be scary.
There’s really no excuse for a person to get hateful with another person just because they disagree with you. Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. A calm discussion about the subject should suffice. Most likely the other person won’t change their mind. Being abusive and name calling about it won’t help.
Personally, I seldom blog about controversial subject. Maybe I’m a coward. But life’s too short to argue. I might state my opinion, especially about my religious beliefs. Someone can agree or not. Their choice. That’s as far as it goes.
Thanks for co-hosting today. So nice to meet you. Have a better week. 🙂
It is nice to meet you too! I am going to keep most of my opinions closer to home:)
Mean people stink. I am a political person, very political, but I appreciate diversity, just not diversity that judges others actions with cruelty or ill-intention or name calling. I try, and usually succeed, and just ignore it when nastiness is directed my way. I encourage others to do so. Sorry you got caught up in nastiness.
If I didn’t listen to people who have ideas different from mine I would never learn. I would be so bored if everyone agreed with me.
I suppose part of it could be the last word syndrome along with a lack of respect for others and differences. Plus taking things too personally, instead of how they are intended. You never know how others will perceive your words, or if they know how to perceive the world without making it all about them. People do not seem to understand healthy boundaries, even those crossing over into opinion and perception.
I really liked what you said here and agree.
“What happened to the art of debating? There were rules. You stick to the issue and the facts. You don’t get personal. We accepted defeat gracefully or we accepted to agree to disagree. Now it seems we are not happy until we have driven the last nail in the coffin of the person that dared to offend us just by having a different opinion than our own.”
Juneta @ Writer’s Gambit
I’m pretty careful about what I post on my blog and social media sites. Part of that’s because I’m an introvert and generally a pretty private person, but I also don’t like getting involved in controversy. Things get ugly quickly on the internet. I think people lose sense of civility and politeness because they’re “invisible” online.
I totally agree with what you said about the rules of debate. It does seem like we’ve lost that as a culture.
We sure have lost it as a culture. So sad.
I try to avoid politics. I know that when others post something I disagree with, I try to state my own opinion without rancor. If others can’t or won’t do that Doreen, I implore you to always consider the source.
Excellent advice Toni!
Right fighters are SO annoying!
I’m sorry you went through that, Doreen. I’ve gone through similar with family/friends posting things on my Facebook that make me want to engage in a debate. Most times, they’re re-sharing what others have shared without bothering to check facts. It’s frustrating, but I’ve learned to stay out of it.
Thanks so much for co-hosting this month! Have a great day. Eva
I need to just stay out of it.
Thanks for co-hosting! I try not to get involved in debates on social media – it’s hard to find the energy when some people go out of their way to start arguments! So I tend to avoid those topics.
I need to stay out of these things too.
Sorry you had so much drama.
That’s never good for our heads.
I hope things are better.
Thank you for being a co-host!
Heather M. Gardner
You are SO right it isn’t good for your head.
So sorry to hear you had to deal with that drama. Things have most certainly changed in this country. You are not allowed to have an opinion unless it conforms to the beliefs of the bullies. There is no such thing as a healthy debate sadly…I wouldn’t even waste my energy on answering them.
It is really sad. I am going to ignore them.
So sorry you got tangled up in such a heated, nasty exchange online. I stay away from controversy online. I mean, do I really care about what some stranger not even in my community is arguing about? Nope. I care about my neighborhood, real neighbors and community. I believe in the Golden Rule, treating people how I would like to be treated. That may be the definition of respect too. Enjoyed your post and the comments. Thanks for co-hoting!!
I need to take that advice!
It is when we decide not to post something that might be controversial or it may offend people who are looking to be offended, that is when we should worry. We have the right to talk about our views. If people do not want to read this then they can choose to pass on to the next blog. More now than ever, people are offended by the slightest thing and it gets widespread very quickly due to blogging, facebook, twitter, and all the rest. Gone are the times when we called someone on the phone, spoke to them in person or actually wrote a letter. I refuse to worry about what someone may think because I wrote something that another may deem offensive. I always try to be respectful but I will not give up my own beliefs or have fear dictate what I should say or not say. People really just need to chill.
You are SO right!
It’s amazing how people are so harsh on the internet. Sorry you had such a bad experience, but don’t blame yourself. Next time, use that passion you feel when reading something so untrue or unjust to write a story. Channeling strong feelings into creative writing is healing, as well as a good way to write something with depth.
That is a great idea, thank you!
It’s hard not to get involved in those discussions sometimes, but you’re right, people don’t respectfully disagree anymore. There’s too much freedom online to say hurtful things and gain what feel like victories. Thank you for co-hosting.
Manners would be amazing:)
Hmmm… How to decide on those things? I guess it’s more of what the blog calls for. Or–for writing in general–it would depend on what message you’re trying to convey. I think it’s OK to let out some steam now and then but one has to also consider the people who would be reading it.
Great post! Thanks for co-hosting!
I will definitely be limiting my comments on politics and religion to the occasional letting off of steam.
Hi Doreen.
Sorry about your bad experience.
I avoid discussions/debates that deal with the two HOT topics – religion and politics.
Whatever happened to “let’s agree to disagree”? I think the problem is that everyboy wants to be right!
This makes me think of a quote by Aristotle: “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”
There are millions of people in the world, coming from different backgrounds, with different lifestyles/experiences/norms/values/beliefs/opinions… we have to acknowledge the diversity that exists in the world.
Thank you for co-hosting the IWSG this month!
That Aristotle quote is one of my favorites. Love it!
Probably already said–113 comments, I can’t count that high much less read them all–but I think this applies to our intent-to-publish work as well. I was in a crit group with a guy who had an EXCELLENT command of the thriller formula. He was also very good at the mechanics of writing. But then he takes a right turn into woo-ville with rants on liberal Jewish judges and politicians and incompetent females and fake/corrupt conservatives and every caricature of every ethnicity imaginable. We all have some ideas, opinions, and/or beliefs we should keep under our ugly hairdos–and out of our writing.
Oh my! We had a woman like that in one of my writing groups. I don’t scare easy but she scared me. Her writing was brilliant. I am definitely going to try to keep a hat on my opinions, as much as I can.
Thanks for co-hosting the IWSG! I’m so sorry to hear you had a bad experience with cruel people and their hateful words. I’m not sure what the answer is. I guess I try to remain as neutral as possible on my blog and in social media, and I tend to keep my opinions to myself. I have noticed that people can become very heated about certain issues, so I just try to steer clear of anything that can be viewed as confrontational, even if I disagree. It’s a shame society can’t be more respectful of other’s viewpoints, especially when it comes to politics and religion.
I really miss the days when manners were popular.
I try not to get into sticky messes on my Twitter, but since my FB is more personal and has to do with family, friends and non-writing things, I’ll post and say things there. It does concern me how people are so quick to jump up and yell “Bully” or to dog pile on a person for thinking different than they do. We live in a county that claims to celebrate diversity and individual freedoms, but so often seem to act the opposite.
The diversity always seems so one sided, so sad.
Unless you are Stephen King, politics is a strict no-no. You will alienate half of your clientele. I have *very* strong opinions and I try to stay out of the fight pit.
Thanks for hosting!
I am going to take that advice for sure.
I never get into debates on social media. Not even with close friends and family. I bite my virtual tongue. I may rant privately to myself, to my cats, or to whoever is close by who I know I can vent to, but I never participate in online debates. It never turns out good.
I don’t post anything political under my author name either (not on my blog, FB, or Twitter). I may occasionally post something on my personal FB profile but only if it is kind and thoughtful and doesn’t sound like a rant. The last thing I posted was about marriage equality and how I was happy for my gay friends. That was it. Short and simple.
Nowadays too many people get nasty fast and I don’t like to deal with the anxiety of situations like that so I steer clear.
That is probably great advice. I am going to go back to my journalist roots and keep my opinions to myself.
“The person that dared to offend us just by having a different opinion than our own.” I hate that! We can’t even state our opinion now without being flayed alive. What ironic is that comes from people who rally for freedom of speech and the right to be different, but you only get to enjoy that liberty if you agree with them.
Exactly!
I stay away from any type of debates on social media. People are way to comfortable with bashing someone behind the comforts of their keyboards. It’s not worth it in my book. Thanks for hosting #IWSG!!
They are too comfortable being mean. I am not going to get stuck in a mess like that again.
Thanks for co-hosting.
I try to remain neutral, but it isn’t always possible. And if anyone at all provokes me, I erase, delete, block! There’s no point in arguing with faceless strangers. Most of this happens on Social Networks, not my blog. I’ve only deleted one (not including the thousands of spam I have to delete every week) comment on there, which was rude to another commenter. I won’t have that. 🙂
shahwharton.com
Yes, I deleted the worst of the offenders. There is no excuse for deliberate meanness.
Excellent post. Passion is invigorating, and dangerous. In my medical career, one of the foremost tenants is, ‘Do no harm.’ In my senior years, I’ve learned I don’t need to prove I’m right. Mostly, I’m observant of energy. If the energy of the discussion or action makes me feel uncomfortable, I adjust my receptivity. Objectively, I determine if action is required for the sake of safety, health (physical and mental), and peace. When it feels like my buttons are being pushed that’s the time to walk away (or run), return to calm, and decide rationally how important is it to take a stand. Sometimes, easier said than done. We are human. We need to forgive each other, and ourselves.
What a great plan. You are very smart.
I try not to get sucked into an argument. People are much crueler on social media. My friend and I are on opposite ends of the gay marriage issue. We had to agree to disagree, and never in public, or our friendship would be over. I have to use much self control, at times, not to respond to posts. It wouldn’t change anything anyway. I just try to promote the positive, and even when it’s controversial, to put it in a positive way. Sometimes, I think that makes me weak. There are times when we need to have a louder voice.
Play off the Page
You are so right it is hard to keep quiet.
Hi Doreen! Sorry to hear you had some DRAMA come at you recently. It is never easy but I am fortunate that I have a BFF husband to talk me down when things get a little too wild out here in the blogosphere. I think the only thing that has really pushed my buttons lately was learning that at another blogger is sort of taking my name “SMART Living” and using it as it her on on a couple of her Social Media accounts. 🙁 I’ve just decided to let it go…after all if she can keep it up for 4 years like me then go for it. No one can write or create like us and that does make us unique. We just have to remember that! ~Kathy
My husband is really good at it too. Good for you that you decided to just let the incident go. You are so right she will never be able to create like you and most likely she will give up.
This is EXACTLY why I steer clear from politics or any debates on Facebook. Stuff gets ugly real quick over there. People feel free to say mean things when they hide behind a computer screen.
It was so mean it actually scared me.
Hi Doreen, I just read your post, and it hits the mark! Sometimes, no, all the time I am passionate about politics. I tend to get overboard in my passion when someone shares posts/pictures depicting falsehoods. Example; a pic of the President with his left hand over his heart during the National Anthem. Now I know that picture was photoshopped and it angers me when people share it and say nasty things about our President. It angers me because NO ONE should show such disrespect for any President. It angers me when members of Congress show disrespect for our President. I am embarrassed with how our country and Congress has behaved publicly toward this President. I wish I knew the answer; I wish I knew how to get Congress to see what they have done for public opinion. I will say that I do NOT get nasty, because at that point I just leave it alone. For myself I need to work on not taking it so personal when someone disagrees with me. I just get frustrated when I know the facts, I just don’t know how to debate. I don’t want to be ‘That overzealous person’, so I tend to end the discussion. You are so correct, “There were rules. You stick to the issue and the facts. You don’t get personal. We accepted defeat gracefully or we accepted to agree to disagree.” I just wish Congress would step up and admit that so many of them have led the way in disrespecting our President, and pledge not to do so in future. I am afraid that this disrespect is going to follow over to our next President, who ever that might be.
Thank you Lesia. I think you are right sadly. It spilled over from the last president to this one and it will probably continue.
My boss is a Facebook friend; that helps me keep my opinions in check 🙂
Good plan. My agent is now a twitter and Facebook friend so I’m off the soapbox for now:)
Thanks for co-hosting. People get pretty aggressive when they can hide behind their computer screens. I try to remove myself from such discussions because there is no winning them. Social media has become a great way to share thoughts and information, but its also a platform for people to say things they wouldn’t say to someone’s face. It’s too bad more people can’t be civil online.
They really are braver. Something we need to add to our parenting these days. Social media manners.
On my blog, I only talk about writing. Sometimes I delve into topics that might start arguments, but I try not to frame them in an “I am absolutely right” sort of way, more like a “This is what I’m working on, and here’s what could be an issue” way. On Twitter, I have no trouble stating my opinion, but I keep it brief and don’t engage people who just want to argue.
If I get into the mood to argue over something someone said, I just stare at this comic until the mood fades: http://xkcd.com/386/
I get a bit more opinionated on twitter too. I need to find a cartoon!