I recently read Gold Diggers and Dead Beat Dads. I am excited that the author, Valerie Rind agreed to answer a few questions and I applaud her for writing an intelligent, important and due to the serious subject a surprisingly witty book.
My Review: Smart, well written and eye opening…
The author had me at the title, Gold Diggers and Dead Beat Dad$. The book is a compilation of some extremely painful, personal stories of financial exploitation and ruin committed by those the victims most loved and trusted.
We are taught at a very young age that it’s not polite to ask someone about their financial status including how much they make, how much they save or their credit rating. The author shines a bright light on the financial wreckage that can happen if we don’t shake off the controversy and start asking personal financial questions before we say I-Do.
Valerie Rind writes from her heart as she shares her own devastating story of lending her deceptive husband money for a start-up business and discovering a financially devastating secret he kept from her for many years.
Along with the heartbreaking stories and valuable lessons learned by others the author offers common-sense tips on avoiding and overcoming financial ruin. It is written well and left me feeling like I was not alone after being devastated financially by loved ones, myself.
An important book for anyone considering marriage, caring for an elderly loved- one or blending a family.
Author bio:
During a hiatus from my career as a corporate attorney, I worked for a local housing authority, where I created its pilot personal finance program for 300 low-income individuals.
For fun, I served as one of the founding volunteer moderators for the my FICO community forum.
My resume is a checkerboard with gigs like sailing on Caribbean yachts, running the office of a TV and film casting company, and negotiating megabucks contracts for a Fortune 200 technology company.
Irrelevant credentials: BA in Russian Language & Literature from Duke University. LLB and Masters of Law degrees from the University of Sydney. Yes, in Australia. I currently live in the Washington, DC area.
Interview:
What 3 questions about finances would you suggest to ask before considering a serious relationship with someone?
In Gold Diggers and Deadbeat Dads, I list more than 50 questions, so it’s hard to narrow it down to three!
A key topic is how your potential mate handles debt. Ask: Do you have any credit card or student loan debt? How much? What are the interest rates? Do you pay in full or only the minimum amount due? Do you ever pay late? Exceed the credit limit? Is it time to get a card with better terms? What’s your plan to eliminate your debt? (You should be worried if your sweetheart has no plan).
How can someone considering a midlife marriage that involves blending a family protect their own personal finances and their children’s inheritance?
Opinions vary on whether couples should have entirely separate or combined bank and investment accounts. It’s such an individual matter, and the best solution is often somewhere in the middle.
It’s critical to get your will or trust updated, along with the beneficiaries for your 401(k) accounts, IRAs, and life insurance policies. One couple delayed taking care of business, and the second wife was left with almost nothing when her husband died. Blended families are a challenge if people have different ideas about “entitlement” to inheritances.
Can you share your path to publication, any difficulties along the way, and why you chose the path you chose?
I tried the “traditional” route first. Agents were interested but none seemed like a good match. I was frustrated and put the manuscript on the virtual shelf for five years. Periodically it annoyed me that I hadn’t finished the project. One day I read about self-publishing. Wow, all I have to do is push a button! If I had known how much time, effort, and money it would take to self-publish … but it’s definitely been worthwhile and a lot of fun.
What are three red flags one should watch for concerning a mate’s finances that might suggest we are being lied to or scammed?
Your partner is evasive about certain bills, bank statements, or other mail. When you ask questions about money matters, you get dodgy answers.
Her phone rings often with urgent, private calls or texts from people you don’t know.
He is often inexplicably late, absent, or unavailable.
Do you listen to music or work in silence while writing?
I definitely need music to stay “in the zone.” I love an obscure Internet radio station called XPoNential Radio that plays “an eclectic blend of blues, rock, world, folk, and alternative country.” Â Sometimes I get temporarily distracted when I stop to download a song that’s playing!
Are you planning another book?
Yes. People are already sharing their stories with me for the sequel. I’m interviewing leading authorities on subjects such as child support enforcement. There weren’t enough stories to fill a whole chapter on family businesses gone wrong, so I’m seeking more anecdotes on that topic.
Connect with Valerie here:
Blog:ValerieRind.com
Twitter: @ValerieRind
Facebook: Valerie Rind
Google Plus: +ValerieRind
Various purchase links:
Available on Amazon in paperback:
Gold Diggers and Deadbeat Dads
Gold Diggers and Deadbeat Dads: True Stories of Friends, Family, and Financial Ruin
18 thoughts on “Gold Diggers and Dead Beat Dads/ Author Interview and Review…”
There’s no question this is a topic that must be handled before a serious relationship. I once didn’t ask it, as I had known the man so well and so long, and after we tied the knot i was FLOORED at what I discovered. We divorced, ultimately, and thank God I wasn’t on the hook for support payments, but I could have been. Yes, an important topic!
I am glad you got out of that one.
Very interesting book from an impressive author. I agree, it’s a must to ask these questions. I know exactly the person to forward to this too. Thanks so much for eye-opening info!
I am teaching my grandkids now, boys and girls.
Finally, a much needed book on a very important topic.
I agree!
Thank you for offering up your personal experience as a cautionary tale. Scary stuff, but I am glad you got disentangled.
I am so grateful she shared her personal story.
A very important topic and it’s interesting that there is still a taboo on discussing it openly. Sounds like a fascinating read, especially since the author speaks from experience.
I agree. Why in the world is this still taboo??
Wow, this book sounds fascinating. It’s amazing that people feel free to discuss so many personal topics like religion, politics, sex – yet money is still so hush-hush. How can people get married without discussing money first?!
It is so sad. I definitely spoke about being sexually assaulted before I ever spoke about being financially devastated by a loved one.
We were all brought up to never speak about money. Shh. This is such an important book for so many reasons, and I love having the interview as well. This happens more times than I ever thought, but now I’m hearing more and more stories about this. Sheesh. Thanks for the review, Doreen. And congrats to Valerie.
I am hearing so many stories too. The good thing is this book will hopefully get a lot of people talking about finances.
I know two separate people (not in a relationship with each other), enlightened intelligent people, that this happened to and they don’t talk about it all!!! It is a source of great embarrassment and the “I should have known better” thoughts consume both of them. Money has to be an issue that is discussed and I am so glad that this book is out there! I going to definitely buy a copy and give it a young couple I know who I bet have not had this conversation. Might be tacky but who cares, right? Thanks for sharing this wonderful interview!
I think that this book would make a great gift idea!
Thanks for your kind words, EVERYONE! Special thanks to Doreen for writing the review and including the interview. I appreciate your support!
And if anyone out there wants to share their story for the sequel … I change all names, places, professions, and other identifying details to protect the innocent (and the guilty). Contact me at valerie@valerierind.com.
Take care!
Thank you so much Valerie and I wish you the best of luck with your books!