Please welcome psychotherapist, parenting coach and the brand new author of Go Take a Bath, Robin Kevles-Necowitz
Did you grow up in a writing or a reading household?
Not at all. I grew up with my dad who was a washer repairman. Reading and writing were not encouraged. Scholastic achievement was not modeled or encouraged.
Where did you grow up?
NE Philadelphia.
Tell us about your book
In my 25 years in private practice, I see parents who are confused and bewildered as to why, despite their best intentions and efforts, their kids are suffering. The children’s issues may differ (anxiety, depression, acting out, drug abuse, bullying, etc.) but the struggle is the same. As I get to know these families, I see that many are caught in a very similar dysfunctional pattern. Many families are raising their children in a child-focused household. These parents are turning their own worlds upside down to meet the perceived needs of the child. Examples include: preparing the family menu around a child’s preferences, not tending to their own social needs to attend every soccer game their child plays in, spending their evenings helping kids with homework or problem solving their child’s concerns that came up throughout the day. They believe with their full heart and soul that this is a loving, selfless act and their “job” as a good parent. It’s not.
Our job is to prepare our children to launch from our home into the world at large. And that starts early! It starts when we walk away from a baby in a crib for a few hours teaching that baby that they are safe without us for a few hours. It continues in toddlerhood, when we step away from a toddler who is petting a friendly dog teaching that child that the world is safe and we trust them. “They got this!” And it continues on throughout the years from school issues, to driving, to college to marriage. We want to teach our children the skills necessary to manage in the world. When we take on too much for them, we send them an unintended message of inadequacy, “I will do this for you because I don’t think you’re capable.” Parents don’t realize they do this, so they don’t understand when a child starts to shut down, act out or display symptoms of depression or anxiety. My book addresses how to undo all of that so children can thrive! And it’s never too early or late to start.
Share your publishing story
OY! My publishing story. ROUGH! I have had this book in my head for many years. But I always knew that navigating through the process would be difficult and expensive. But in January of 2013, I had finished the book (HA!) and decided to make it my 2013 goal to publish it. I knew I wanted to self-publish but I wanted to hire a professional editor. I honestly thought an editor checks for typos! I had NO IDEA what I signed up for when I hired her. My editor (Paula Berinstein) was TOUGH! But she was excellent and my book is more polished and professional than I ever dreamed it could be. But I will say the whole process was costly–financially and emotionally! Funny story: After months and months of edits, Paula finally said it was ready to be given to the test readers! Yippee. After receiving and integrating the test reader’s feedback, I was SURE we were done. I sent it to Paula for final approval and I got an email back with the subject line: Don’t Freak Out. Too late! She had sent me another 3 weeks worth of edits. I walked over to my refrigerator, opened it, and didn’t stop eating until the book was published. And that’s just one of thousands of stories. I am thrilled it’s done, but it was MUCH harder than I ever imagined.
Do you have a day job?
I work as a Licensed Psychotherapist and Parenting Coach in Fairless Hills, PA. I have a full, balanced practice. I work with couples, individuals and parenting issues.
What was the last book you read?
MINE! Before that? The gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown.
Will you write another book?
very unlikely.
What is your guilty TV pleasure?
The Big Bang Theory. I absolutely love that show. I could watch reruns all day long.
Where can we find your book, website, twitter, facebook etc…;
My book is called: Go Take a Bath! A Powerful Self-Care Approach to Extraordinary Parenting. It can be found on Amazon.com. Link is below. Also, please friend me on Parent Assist for free daily parenting tips and follow me on Twitter @RobinNecowitz
I am very proud of the book and feel so touched that I have already received twelve 5 star reviews on Amazon in the 3 weeks it has been available. Check out the reviews below. Book is available in print, kindle or audio spoken by yours truly.
