For the past 11 years I have hated April.  Towards the end of March my body begins to feel heavy; I feel depressed and angry.  I am very sensitive to everything, noise, light, happy people..everything upsets me.  Then I realize it is almost April and with the dreaded month of April comes the reminder, the anniversary (how I hate that word) of David’s death.  It isn’t just me; my husband’s body, who’s son also died in April, has the same physical symptoms.  For all those people that said time will heal the wounds; I hate you..you lie.  Time changes many things but not the pain and most certainly not the questions I still have unanswered and the mental anguish of what if’s. I try to feel differently.  I try to remember the happier memories, try to celebrate the life that lived rather than dwell on the life that ended too soon.  I have so many blessings in my life to be thank full for.  I will be thank full again in May.  For now I will be sad and dread the month of April.