Posts Tagged ‘Pat Green’

My Life in Song…

My friend Ruth asked, “Want to do a sing-a-long with me on Friday? I am going to post a play list of 4 or 5 songs that represent my life as it is right now.” My brain healthy twist is [and believe me Ruth knows a thing or two about brain health] to find the YouTube versions of each song with lyrics on the screen so readers (singers) can read along as they sing and bathe their brains with an amazing bath of feel good chemicals but you may take any approach you like.”

Of course I want to participate…

So this is my life as it is today in song…

Music

Because there have been production delays with The Stranger In My Recliner that are out of my control and because I am having some health issues it feels like I am fighting for control. I made this my ring tone and I want to listen to the song instead of answering the phone:

https://youtu.be/sQhGnNEFtPk

Because on our first date we went to the beach, we were married on that beach, my stepson’s ashes are on that beach, we spend as much time as we can there and because this was our wedding song it is always on my playlist:

https://youtu.be/chZm_Dhj47Q

Music 3

This song is on my play list and I listen to it often because it reminds me how far I have come from being abused and bullied:

https://youtu.be/n43nACiVWpM

This is the song I listen to when I miss my younger brother, David (which is pretty much every day.) He was murdered in a random road rage attack when he was 26-years –old. He had a wife and a 13-month-old son. I also lost one of my best friends on my birthday last year, she was only 44. I also think of my husband’s son John who died of suicide at 17.

https://youtu.be/lLvFzLlQ3Js

 

That’s my playlist for today! Thanks for singing along.

For some brain games check out Ruth’s Cranium Crunches:

http://www.craniumcrunches.com

 

 

 

 

Wave on Wave

 

During the cold, dreary winter months, I keep depression away by planning every detail of my family’s summer adventures. From our annual family reunion/ beach week, romantic weekend getaways, writer’s retreats, daytrips to amusement parks and motorcycle runs for good causes, I can be found inside, researching the next best fun thing to do, while the snow is falling outside.

serious icycles

 

I convince myself every winter to hang on for just a few more weeks and my sanity will return and those empty idea files in my mind will soon be overflowing with creative ideas as I lounge along the shoreline soaking up the warm, soft breeze.

Beach Chairs

Then I snap out of it and realize that nearly every summer plan I have made for the last eight years imploded.  There was the summer I was recovering from a brain injury and couldn’t remember how to tie my shoes. Then there was the late spring where my daughter had to have an emergency c-section and was in the hospital for weeks. We did not want to leave her. Another summer my stepson was in a horrific motorcycle accident and in a coma for twenty-one days. That same summer our grandson had a pole from tennis net go clear through his leg in a freak camp accident. So embarrassing was the time I tried to shut the garage door at our beach rental and the door sucked up and crushed eight of my fingers causing my grandsons to call me Mom-Mom scissor –hands for the rest of the summer. Two years ago right before our vacation my father was diagnosed with lung cancer and one of my dearest friends was diagnosed with a cancer so ugly there isn’t even a ribbon for it. The outlook for both was grim.

After months of treatment, my father’s cancer went into remission. My friend went through months of chemo and radiation and then a life altering radical surgery and she was declared cancer free.

John and I swore we witnessed a miracle. We wanted to celebrate life. That January we leased a beautiful, private beachfront home that was large enough for our kids and grandkids. Beach week could not arrive fast enough. At every family occasion that winter we talked about the fun, we were going to have that summer.  My daughter’s and I planned the menus. We shopped for extra special beach toys for the kids and matching towels.

On June 10th that year, I was told my father’s scan showed a ‘mass’ in his throat. My mother’s scan showed a suspicious density in her remaining breast. It looked liked that summer would include a few trips to Florida to be with them.

The next day I got the news that my sweet friend’s scan showed multiple lesions. I would be spending some time in North Carolina that summer as well.

On June 14, John called me at work to tell me our realtor called and told him the perfect house we leased back in January was suddenly unavailable to us because the owner had a family emergency. The proverbial shoestring broke and I could not grab the pieces.

My personal rule to never, ever commit woman -on -woman crime no.matter.what. was about to be broken big time on that realtor because we found out it was her negligence that lost us our rental.  The owners of the property never had a family emergency.

Not to worry she said, we found you another house, it is only three towns away, does not have direct beach access and it is not private. Private being one of the key words here. With eight kids in the house the last thing we wanted to do was to be telling them to be quiet all week because of the neighbors.

It was also not on the sand that my husband spent every summer on from the time he was one-year-old. The sand where he and I stood on our first date and watched fireworks, appear out of nowhere. It was not the beach where we shared our first kiss and then thirteen-months later got married during a family beach week. It was not the same sand that held the precious ashes that John lovingly scattered so his first-born son would forever be a part of his family’s beach week.

SAMSUNG DIGIMAX A503

That realtor just did not get that.

This past winter within three- weeks of one another I lost my father and my friend. There were no plans made for the beach this summer. I was too sad.

I am not going to plan the day but the first one that comes along and finds the two of us with the day off, no rain in the forecast and a clear calendar, I will look at John and say lets go. I will hop onto the back of his Harley and in no time at all we will be sitting on ‘our’ beach.

Daytona Biker Girl

Life can be chaotic, down right terrifying at times. It can feel like the world is crashing around us and sometimes even on top of us. I can always count on ‘our’ waves, to remind me that whether life comes at us as a raging storm or in soft poetic rhythm, it will be constant.

I will take the time to breathe softly and cleanse my soul of the everyday life stressors like traffic, lost sippy cups, endless deadlines and whining. My eyes will follow a seagull as he soars along that invisible line where the fluffy white clouds meet the sea. I will hold my husbands hand, close my eyes and be grateful for him, our family and our many blessings.

Beach kiss

I will open my eyes just in time to see a crab scurry by and I will shriek. John will laugh so hard that tears will roll down his cheek and I will give in and laugh with him. Our eyes will meet and for that moment we will have stolen back, our joy and we will smile. We will have a little fun in the sun and then ride into the sunset and back to our reality where we will excitedly be making plans for our next adventure.

Wave on Wave by Pat Green (our wedding song)

http://youtu.be/fJWnIFlYKjs

 

 

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