Kindness is Sending a Bowl of Berries…



Those that know me best know that I’ve been preaching kindness pretty much since I started talking. It is a new year and a good time for all of us to do a little soul searching and a lot of kindness generating. The ugliness I have seen over the past six-months has been overwhelming. We all need to take a good long look in the mirror and decide if we like who we see looking back at us. Are we telling little girls who to be or are we showing them by example?

Some psychologists believe that ‘being nice’ isn’t really so nice after all. They believe being nice actually comes from a fear.

We ‘act’ nice towards someone because we want to be liked or we fear what others will think of us if we are not perceived of as a ‘nice’ person. As kids, especially little girls we were constantly told to ‘be nice’ and to ‘be good’ even to people we didn’t like. We were taught to keep the peace at all cost even if we were filled with hate. Some girls learned how to use niceness as a way to get what they wanted or as a way to gain power. Being nice is telling the cashier in the supermarket to have a nice day because it sounds good but actually you could care less what kind of day she has.
Overly nice people usually have very low self- esteem and are only nice so they can feel better about themselves and so others will like them. Being overly nice can put you at risk of being used and mistreated. It can leave you feeling powerless and out of control. It can cause unhappiness and even illness.


Being nice can actually be selfish.

Kindness on the other hand comes from real love, compassion and empathy towards fellow human beings and all living things. Compassion and empathy are real needs that some people have to help others or ourselves. It makes kindness the total opposite of being nice. Being kind is looking that cashier in the eye and saying, “It looks like you are very busy today. I hope you are done soon and can go home and relax,” and meaning every word.

Being kind is opening and holding the door for an elderly woman, looking her in the eye and then taking her bags to her car for her. It is easy for kind people to be assertive because they care as much about themselves as they do others. They earn and expect respect.

Kindness is not a feeling it is a choice. It is a character quality that we can work on until it comes naturally. It is choosing to do the right thing even when the right thing is the hardest to do. There is a direct correlation between being kind and being happy. When we are truly good to others out of love we feel real happiness.

Being kind is being selfless.

Have you seen the ‘Kindness Generator’ created by one of the sweetest companies I know? It is a great way to get ideas for random acts of kindness. I’m loving it! I am also looking forward to my next delivery:)

What have you done as far as random kindness? #KeepMovingForward

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3 Responses to “Kindness is Sending a Bowl of Berries…”

  • Too often I’ve seen inconsistencies in those who think they are kind and who really have kindness coursing through their veins. I think it’s hard to always come from kindness and am a work in progress

  • Ellen Dolgen:

    I love this distinction. We need more kindness in this world. I love how you put this, “There is a direct correlation between being kind and being happy. When we are truly good to others out of love we feel real happiness” And…………I am not just saying this to be nice.

  • A very good distinction between “being nice” and “being kind”. Kindness is surely what we need more of in the world and in our own culture.

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