Posts Tagged ‘Mental Health’

Being Nice is Selfish?

Today’s post is part of the annual A-to-Z Blogging Challenge. Each day of April (except Sunday,) we write a post corresponding with that day’s letter of the alphabet. For more information on the challenge and its creator visit:

A-Z 2016 badge

 

My theme for this years’ A-Z Challenge is Keep Moving Forward

Kindness

Some psychologists believe that ‘being nice’ isn’t really so nice after all. They believe being nice actually comes from a fear. We ‘act’ nice towards someone because we want to be liked or we fear what others will think of us if we are not perceived of as a ‘nice’ person. As kids, especially little girls we were constantly told to ‘be nice’ and to ‘be sweet’ even to people we didn’t like. We were taught to keep the peace at all cost even if we were filled with hate. Some little girls learn very young how to use niceness as a way to get what they want and as they get older, as a way to gain power. Being nice is telling your boss to have a nice day because it sounds good but actually you could care less what kind of day she has.

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Its Release Day for The Stranger In My Recliner!

Its release day for The Stranger In My Recliner! I am overwhelmed and filled with gratitude for all of the kind words about Sophie’s story. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart!

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To Agent or Not…

WRITING WEDNESDAY

Typewriter Pink

On Wednesday I like to share information I picked up on my path to publishing, marketing and preparing to publish again. Information that I wish someone would have shared with me, back then.

To Agent or Not and How the Heck do you Find One…

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A to Z Reflections…

A to Z Reflections

A-to-Z Reflection [2014]

This was my 4th year participating in the A to Z Blogging Challenge and my second year to participate as a helper/minion.

I was really excited this year because the first year I participated I had a book coming out a few months after the challenge and this year I have a second book coming out in a few months. I was also excited because my 500th blog post happened during the challenge. I will be celebrating that milestone next week.

Originally I joined the challenge because April is a tough month for me. The anniversary of my brother’s murder and my step-sons suicide are on April 26 so my husband and I both try to stay as busy as possible, doing the most positive things during the month. No matter what we do that date is always painful for us.

This year, the month life threw more bad news our way. My stepson was diagnosed with stage III non Hodgkin’s lymphoma. We are hopeful and remaining positive. If you are the praying type we would appreciate your prayers.

While my husband was is Arizona with his son I had a medical emergency here in Philadelphia. I will be having a hysterectomy, soon.

I have to say that all of the bad news aside this was the least stressful challenge for me. Every year I swear I am going to pre-write my posts and every year I fail to do that. This year I did pre-write 7 posts and decided on all of my titles. It helped. I am still going to try to write all of the posts next year.

This year I had the least amount of visitors/comments. I commented on many more posts than I received. That was disappointing and unusual for the challenge.

All in all I am pretty proud of my participation this year. I handled all of my last minute book edits, spent a few days in the hospital, received sad news, dealt with frustrating issues at my day job, hosted a visit from my Mom and was only late with one post!

Cheers to all of my fellow A to Z’ers and a huge thank you to the challenge creator Arlee Bird: http://tossingitout.blogspot.com

And to all of the co-hosts and ambassadors;  Lisa Buie-Collard our Live Wire leader and to my fellow Live Wires!

Champagne toat for a to z

I’m looking forward to the road trip!

Thank you so much for reading along,

Doreen

Zee End

Today’s post is my final in the 2015 annual A-to-Z Blogging Challenge. For more information on the challenge and its creator visit:

http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com

a-z 2015 Z

My theme this year was An Intimate Look at the Homeless and Mental Health Epidemic in America which happens to be the subtitle of my next book, The Stranger in My Recliner. The book is the true story of, Sophie.  Sophie is the eighty-year-old homeless woman that my husband brought home one night. She lived with us for nearly three –years. The night that she walked through our front door changed me.

That book will be out later this year.

So; I decided this year’s challenge posts would be on programs that actually help the homeless and the mentally ill, programs that don’t, when did homelessness become a problem and what or who caused it, famous homeless people, famous people that help the homeless and the mentally ill, what you can do that will help in a real way and a whole alphabet more…

Zee End

I thank you so much for following along this month with Sophie’s story. I hope her story inspires you to do something to help the homeless and or mentally ill in your community by writing letters to your community leaders, politicians and churches insisting on homes not hospitals or jails for the homeless.

If you have any suggestions or want to share what you have done please post on twitter using #sophieschallenge.

Happy May and thank you again for following along,

Doreen

I’m one of Lisa’s Live Wires! Lisa was a fabulous challenge co-host Lisa Buie-Collard

My fellow live wires:

Rhonda Albom – Bob R. MilneTamera NarayanStephanie FarisHeather McCubbin

*I am a day late because I was admitted to the hospital. I will be fine, cannot wait to get home!

Yummy…

Today’s post is part of the annual A-to-Z Blogging Challenge. Each day of April (except Sunday,) we write a post corresponding with that day’s letter of the alphabet. For more information on the challenge and its creator visit:

http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com

a-z 2015 Y

My theme for this years’ A-Z Challenge is An Intimate Look at the Homeless and Mental Health Epidemic in America which just happens to be the subtitle of my next book, The Stranger in My Recliner. The book is the true story of Sophie.  She was the eighty-year-old homeless woman that my husband brought home one night. She lived with us for nearly three –years. The book will be out this fall.

An excerpt from The Stranger in My Recliner

Yummy

I started to remind Sophie at 8:30 in the morning that she had to take a shower. She smiled and said she would take one later. You have to shower today, I told her again and again. After my own shower, I placed the plastic safety chair into the tub and put a towel on the seat, to make it softer for her to sit on and not as cold. I put four fresh towels on the counter and a wash cloth on the arm of the shower chair. A bath sheet worked better on the floor than the tiny bath mat so I folded the mat and put it in the hall closet. I lined up the mouthwash, baby powder, Q-tips and facial moisturizer on the sink, doubting she would use any of the products.

Q tips

I ran downstairs and into Sophie’s room and picked out an outfit for her to wear. I chose a pair of mint green linen pants and a cream colored tank and sweater set. If only I could talk her into wearing real shoes. The plastic slides she wore made me cringe. At least I was able to talk her into wearing socks so her feet wouldn’t get frostbite.  The socks with the slides looked absolutely ridiculous but that was a fight I chose not to start. Cream pumps or flats would be so cute with this outfit. Even white or cream sneakers would be adorable. She only had white and black socks. I chose the white. Would she ever wear knee-highs, I wondered. I wanted to throw away those stupid plastic shoes so badly. If she didn’t dig through our trash cans I could probably get away with throwing them out and letting her think she lost them. Right away I realized how mean that would be, or would it be? Plastic shoes cannot be healthy for your feet.

Her toenails were disgusting too. I tried to cut them for her once but she screamed so loud I had no choice but to stop. When people age their toe nails thicken and harden naturally. The thickening can also be caused by a fungus, other disease, a trauma and of course improper fitting shoes. In Sophie’s case it could have been all of these. I tried talking her into seeing a podiatrist but she wanted nothing to do with that idea. I could only imagine the screaming she would do and how embarrassed I would be.

Moving on, I quickly scrambled an egg and cooked it in the microwave for her. I generously buttered her soft toast and poured a large glass of apple juice and put everything on the dining room table for her. She begged me to let her eat in the recliner. It was another fight I chose not to start and I moved the meal to her end table and placed a dish towel on her lap.

scrambled-eggs

I ran back upstairs to gather some laundry. “Dina, Dina” she shrieked. I yelled down to her asking her what she needed. “You forgot me peas in my eggies.” She whined.  I could not tell her we did not have any because I had enough canned peas in the cupboard to wait out Armageddon. Why did I think she would be okay without peas for that one day? I ran downstairs, opened a can of peas and drained the liquid off of them. I put a few spoonfuls of peas into a small bowl. I placed the bowl in the microwave. The smell of microwave eggs is bad enough first thing in the morning. Adding the smell of nasty canned peas and that slimy liquid they come in is so gross. The smell gets stuck in your nostrils and stays there. Taking the small bowl out of the microwave, lifting it with a paper towel, I walked over to the recliner. Carefully I scooped the peas from the bowl and piled them onto her plate.  I asked her to take her plate into the kitchen when she was finished eating. She smelled so badly I had to fight my gag reflex. I could not wait to get her into the shower.

peas in a can

I put a load of laundry into the washer adding extra Tide liquid and Downy fabric softener because I knew it would make the house smell better. It wouldn’t get to the root of the odor problem but for right then, I needed that putrid eggy, peas and urine smell to be gone.

Tide

Thank you for reading,

Doreen

I’m one of Lisa’s Live Wires! Lisa is a challenge co-host Lisa Buie-Collard

A-Z 2015 Minion Badge

My fellow live wires:

Rhonda Albom – Bob R. MilneTamera NarayanStephanie FarisHeather McCubbin

 

Victim…

Today’s post is part of the annual A-to-Z Blogging Challenge. Each day of April (except Sunday,) we write a post corresponding with that day’s letter of the alphabet. For more information on the challenge and its creator visit:

http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com

a-z 2015 V

My theme for this years’ A-Z Challenge is An Intimate Look at the Homeless and Mental Health Epidemic in America which just happens to be the subtitle of my next book, The Stranger in My Recliner. The book is the true story of Sophie.  She was the eighty-year-old homeless woman that my husband brought home one night. She lived with us for nearly three –years. The book will be out this fall.

VICTIM

21-year-old, Daequon Norman is a quadriplegic with cerebral palsy. He’s must use a wheelchair and has no verbal communication skills. Sometime during the first week of April Daequon’s mother, Nyia Parler walked him, in his wheel chair into the woods. She proceeded to dump him out of the wheel chair, cover him with a blanket and give him a bible. Then she turned her back and walked away. She went to Maryland to spend the week with her boyfriend.

Wheelchair in woods

On the night of April 10th, Fitzroy Anderson spotted two dear and followed them down a trail. He discovered Daequon and called 911.

Parler checked herself into the hospital in Maryland where she stayed for more than a week for an undisclosed …

Daequon remains in the hospital.

Parler was released from the hospital, arrested and extradited to Philadelphia where she was charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault, simple assault, reckless endangerment, neglect of a care-dependent person, unlawful restraint, kidnapping and false imprisonment.

She remains in jail unable to post 2.5 million dollars bail.

For a minute I felt sorry for the mother. Having a child with special needs is a 24/7 extremely difficult job with very little down time. The child does not ‘grow-up’ and go to college. There is no empty nest.

I have a grandson with special-needs. He is all I could think of when I read about what happened to Daequon. My daughter and son-in-law work very hard to keep a support system together and to keep their relationship strong. They amaze me.

Services and support were available to Nyia and her son. Actually receiving those services is a nightmare full of hoops to jump through. She made a choice not to do the jumping.

I don’t feel sorry for Nyia anymore. What do you think?

Thank you for reading,

Doreen

I’m one of Lisa’s Live Wires! Lisa is a challenge co-host Lisa Buie-Collard

A-Z 2015 Minion Badge

My fellow live wires:

Rhonda Albom –   Bob R. Milne –   Tamera Narayan –  Stephanie Faris –   Heather McCubbin –   Randi Lee

 

Meet Sophie…

 

Today’s post is part of the annual A-to-Z Blogging Challenge. Each day of April (except Sunday,) we write a post corresponding with that day’s letter of the alphabet. For more information on the challenge and its creator visit:

http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com

a-z 2015 S

My theme for this years’ A-Z Challenge is An Intimate Look at the Homeless and Mental Health Epidemic in America which just happens to be the subtitle of my next book, The Stranger in My Recliner. The book is the true story of Sophie.  She was the eighty-year-old homeless woman that my husband brought home one night. She lived with us for nearly three –years. The book will be out this fall.

Meet Sophie…

Sophie Book Sophie in the blue recliner

She was so mad at me that day for taking her picture. She loved to take photos but never wanted to be in them.

Thank you for visiting,

Doreen

I’m one of Lisa’s Live Wires! Lisa is a challenge co-host Lisa Buie-Collard

A-Z 2015 Minion Badge

My fellow live wires:

Rhonda Albom –   Bob R. Milne –   Tamera Narayan –  Stephanie Faris –   Heather McCubbin –   Randi Lee

the Recliner…

Today’s post is part of the annual A-to-Z Blogging Challenge. Each day of April (except Sunday,) we write a post corresponding with that day’s letter of the alphabet. For more information on the challenge and its creator visit:

http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com

a-z 2015 R

My theme for this years’ A-Z Challenge is An Intimate Look at the Homeless and Mental Health Epidemic in America which just happens to be the subtitle of my next book, The Stranger in My Recliner. The book is the true story of Sophie.  She was the eighty-year-old homeless woman that my husband brought home one night. She lived with us for nearly three –years. The book will be out this fall.

I’ve fallen a bit behind in the challenge, hoping to be all caught up by tonight.

the Recliner

Definition- an armchair that reclines. A backrest that can be tilted back while at the same time the foot rest rises.

My mother-in-law had two pretty chairs in our living room. She told me she wanted her daughter Pat to have those chairs when the time came. Pat only took one of the chairs and she is so sweet she felt like she should give us a replacement chair. When the powder blue recliner arrived, I wasn’t a big fan. I never liked recliners. They are bulky for some reason they always look messy to me. They also remind me of my grandfather. No one was allowed to sit in his ‘chair’ and believe me no one wanted to because it smelled like stale nasty cigar smoke. Sophie on the other hand was delighted and quickly claimed it as her own. I was just fine with that until I peeked to see what she was keeping in the side pockets…

Blue recliner

I’m one of Lisa’s Live Wires! Lisa is a challenge co-host Lisa Buie-Collard

A-Z 2015 Minion Badge

My fellow live wires:

Rhonda Albom –   Bob R. Milne –   Tamera Narayan –  Stephanie Faris –   Heather McCubbin –   Randi Lee

Quiet Rooms…

Today’s post is part of the annual A-to-Z Blogging Challenge. Each day of April (except Sunday,) we write a post corresponding with that day’s letter of the alphabet. For more information on the challenge and its creator visit:

http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com

a-z 2015 Q

My theme for this years’ A-Z Challenge is An Intimate Look at the Homeless and Mental Health Epidemic in America which just happens to be the subtitle of my next book, The Stranger in My Recliner. The book is the true story of Sophie.  She was the eighty-year-old homeless woman that my husband brought home one night. She lived with us for nearly three –years. The book will be out this fall.

QUIET ROOM

I once told Sophie I just wanted to go up into my quiet room and relax. She told me she hated quiet rooms. Knowing the answer would probably rip my heart out I asked, “why?”

“When that girl beat me up and took all my Elvis collectibles, I asked the manager of the storage place to call the police. She called the police and they took me to the hospital. The officer and the hospital staff did not believe I was beat up because the woman at the storage place told them I was nuts. The cop wouldn’t let me take my stuff.  My grocery bags had everything I owned in them.

Because I was screaming and in pain the nurse in the emergency room sent me to the mental health ward. I kept telling them I was hurt. They put me in a straightjacket and put me in the quiet room. They told me someone would let me out soon. I was in there for twenty-four hours. I peed all over myself and couldn’t talk or see from crying so much. I was more terrified than I was of the junkies in the woods.

My back and my arm hurt so badly.

The next day they told me I could go. I walked out of the hospital wearing wet clothes and it was so cold. I walked to McDonalds to get a burger and some water and went back to the woods.”

The time patients are kept in ‘the quiet room’ or ‘the padded cell’ varies but it could be several days. This is still a common occurrence in America.

WTH

Thank you for reading,

Doreen

I’m one of Lisa’s Live Wires! Lisa is a challenge co-host Lisa Buie-Collard

A-Z 2015 Minion Badge

My fellow live wires:

Rhonda Albom –   Bob R. Milne –   Tamera Narayan –  Stephanie Faris –   Heather McCubbin –   Randi Lee

 

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