Review

The Five Year Marriage…

I’m  happy to introduce you to one of my favorite people, the mother of modern marriage Annmarie Kelly. Her latest book The Five Year Marriage is a game changer!

*Be sure to leave  a comment for a chance to win a copy of the book!

The Author:

As the founder of The Victorious Woman Project and author of Victorious Woman and Victory by Design, she excels at shaping life’s challenges into victories. Annmarie built a successful business, Skillbuilder Systems, is the host of the popular radio show, The Friday Happy Hour, is an empowerment speaker, hosts the annual Girlfriend Gala and she has been married six times, each time for just five-years and each time to the same man.

The Book:

The Five Year Marriage empowers couples to live their best life using a method that enables them to recognize and respond to change-in their life, their relationship, and their marriage. The Five Year Marriage is for couples who are ready to commit- or recommit- in a whole new way.

The Interview:

Is there a typical concept of what a great marriage looks like?

Good question – and I think what a “great marriage” looks like depends on a person’s age and experience.

Younger or never married people – and nearly every woman’s magazine – seem to think passion and sex are top priorities for the basis of a marriage that lasts forever. And, when getting married, many couples seem to believe that the person they are marrying is “the one” and their “soulmate.” So, if there are some problems, they believe that their love will conquer all of them. Those couples are looking for the “happily ever after” that traditional marriage supposedly offers. They don’t usually realize what hard work marriage is.

Also, it seems that – for many people – marriage is a bucket list item. OK, I’m married. Check. Or it’s about a biological clock: I want children and want to raise them in a two-parent household.

Older people and those who are, or who have been married, are more realistic. They are hesitant to say their marriage is “great.” They are more likely to say something like “it’s been a great life and I’m glad s/he was my partner in it.” Or, “I wouldn’t have wanted to go through life with anyone else.” That’s because they know that marriage is a part of life, and just like life, it has ups and downs that create awesome peaks and very deep valleys. So, while you may always love that person, but sometimes you like each other and sometimes you don’t.

More than once I’ve heard people brag that they have a “great marriage” only to find out a year or so later that they are splitting up.

That’s why the Five-Year Marriage is so important to a couple. It recognizes that “getting married” is different from “being” married and “happily ever after” happens in fairy tales, not real life. The Five-Year Marriage changes as the people in it change.

What is a Five Year Marriage? A Five-Year Marriage is one that lasts for just five years. It allows a couple to put a pin in the timeline of their marriage, to stop and say, “how’s it going?” and “what’s working and what’s not?” And, with that acknowledgment, a couple can consciously make changes – and do it while they still like each other!

Think about it: in any five-year period, you can change jobs or careers, have a child, go back to school, move to a new house or a new city…and those are just scratching the surface of change. Each one of those changes requires a couple to shift their thinking and adjust. It happens with every couple, but most couples don’t stop to discuss those changes and that adjustment. Instead, thinking they are still on the same page, they plow through and hope for the best.

Unfortunately, because the couple didn’t stop when they needed to, they rethink and adjust separately. When that happens, they stop reading off the same page. In fact, sometimes they aren’t even reading from the same book.

When they talk to each other, “she doesn’t understand me anymore,” and “he doesn’t care about what I’m doing” become the new filters in the couple’s communication. Then one or both of them become angry, disillusioned or resentful – until one or both of them say, “this isn’t working and I want a divorce.”

Who did you write this book for? Who needs to read it? The singles and couples who need to read The Five-Year Marriage are the ones who are looking for something more and better than they’ve seen in other marriages. I wrote The Five-Year Marriage for the man or woman who sees that traditional marriage is outdated, but at the same time, s/he is still looking for the intimacy that marriage promises.

That woman/man/couple who will love The Five-Year Marriage are one who are more focused on the partnership that marriage offers (vs. focusing on the color of napkins at the reception). That could be the single professional who is ready for a relationship that isn’t a dead end.  Or the engaged couple who is ready for marriage but nervous. And it’s definitely for the man or woman who is the child of divorce.

Here’s who I wasn’t thinking about when I wrote it, but who is giving me a lot of feedback: the traditionally-married couple who, after ten or twelve years is finding the old agreements of their marriage getting in the way and making their relationship a little stale. They are ready to take their marriage to the next level – and maybe shaking things up to bring back the old passion they once had.

Instead of letting that happen, a Five-Year Marriage couple recognizes the impact of even small changes. They give themselves the time and space to look at and discuss them. And then they create new goals and new criteria for themselves. It’s a new relationship created by change and honoring the people they have become as a result of life’s changes.

Every five-year marriage is different because the couple in the marriage is different.

The Review:

I was definitely intrigued by the concept of The Five Year Marriage. Being happily married for more than ten-years I doubted there was anything in this book I didn’t know. Not only was I wrong I was inspired to start numerous conversations with my husband about where we’ve been and where we want to go.

Packed with thoughtful yet expert advice Annmarie has definitely earned her nickname The Mother of Modern Marriage.

I especially enjoyed Joseph’s Take, where Annmarie’s six-time husband shares his insight and personal stories throughout the book.

The Five-Year-Marriage is not a guide to getting out of marriage. It’s a guide to building a solid foundation, resolving conflicts and learning to fight fairly. We all change, some of us for the better and some for worse. Renegotiating your wants, needs and desires with your spouse every five-years is a brilliant way to steer your marriage solidly into the future five-years at a time.

This book should be mandatory reading for every engaged couple, and will inspire you to reconnect on a more intimate level with your partner if you are married.

Amazon:

 

Learn more at AnnmarieKelly.com and FiveYearMarriage.com

 

10 Car Buying Tips…

10 Car Buying Tips

 

“sponsored post.”

Purchasing a new or used vehicle can be extremely stressful and we often end up with cars we didn’t want because we felt pressured to buy. There is nothing better than knowledge to fuel us with car buying confidence.

 

 

One of the best places to gain that knowledge is:

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Why Are Wigs So Popular…

 

 

Wigs are so popular and it’s because the quality these days is amazing! Who knew you could sleep, swim and even style human hair wigs? It has never been easier to reinvent your look over and over and to accentuate your natural beauty affordably.

Divatress has a huge selection of sassy and chic wigs, weaves and braids in all price points, many are on sale!

For a natural and seamless look you can’t go wrong with a lace front human hair wig. The company offers many styles, sexy, curly, straight, natural, tousled and shiny.

How cute is this?

 

 And it comes in all these colors and more!

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Foodie Friday Fragments…

FRIDAY FRAGMENTS

Friday Fragments are bits and pieces of your week that are usually brief; too short for a stand-alone post, but too good to discard. Collect humorous observations, “Heard” items, and other small gems (hint: a notebook is helpful) and put them together in a Friday Fragments post. Then leave a link to your Friday Fragments post in the comments…

We’ve been having the most unusually warm winter and deep in my gut I knew…it was coming.

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Making Memories Doesn’t Have To Be Expensive…

They say God’s compensation to us for getting older is grandchildren and I have to agree. I am blessed to have 13 ranging in age from 22-6. For my husband and me life has become about making meaningful memories with them and all of our loved ones.

adriana-and-peyton-5-and-6

Coming up with ideas is a lot of fun for us but making those memories can be expensive. We’ve had to get creative. One of my favorite sources for coming up with fun family activity ideas is GROUPON. Not only is there always an extensive list of things to do locally there are also travel ideas, restaurant suggestions and they offer some of the best, real savings I’ve seen.

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Summer Series Suggestions…

It’s that time again when all of my favorite TV shows are airing season finales. I admit I get a bit down knowing it could be months, maybe even a year before my favorite characters or reality TV personalities are back in my living room.

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I’m In Love With This…

The lease is up next month on my Nissan Altima and I’ve been having separation anxiety for about 3-months now. I still love my car even after 3-years so I’ve been leaning towards purchasing it at the end of the lease.

My salesman, who also happens to be my husband, will most likely try to up sell me. He wouldn’t have had a chance of succeeding before I attended #BAMC16 [The bloggers at midlife conference 2016.]

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Someone Took The Cork Out Of Her Lunch…

I  love introducing you to the best authors and Vikki is one of them. She is also very funny!

About the Author

Author Vikki Claffin

Vikki Claflin is an award-winning humor writer and blogger, public speaker, and former newspaper columnist who lives in Hood River, Oregon. Her celebrated humor blog Laugh Lines shares the hilarious ups and down of midlife.

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Joy is inspiration for the New Year…

It truly never is too late for firsts and December 25, 2015 was the first time I ever went to see a movie on Christmas Day. I was amazed to find the theatre so full that we had to sit in the front row. It wasn’t so bad thanks to the reclining seats at our local Regal. Despite some lukewarm reviews I was looking forward to seeing, Joy.

Jennifer Lawrence, Robert DiNiro and Bradley Cooper reunite in, Joy their third David O Russell written and directed film.

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